Whew.....what a course has been run over this week! I pulled out of my Alabama home about 2:45 last Tuesday afternoon and headed north towards KC. I am still amazed at how one person who does not own a lot of stuff could have so much stuff to get rid of, sort through, throw away....and still have so much to "store". Again, I can not say a big enough thank you to my dear friends who jumped in on the labor! As I drove and reflected, I just wept at the love and care you guys showed to me, both those who came and sweated and those who have given in prayer and financially. Know that I love you all and am missing "home"....which is made up of you all!
As I was coming into the KC city limits I heard the Lord tell me that I was coming into a "greenhouse" season. I immediately saw a little glass greenhouse I took refuge in while in Drum, Ireland out of the cutting wind that was blowing that day. That greenhouse was HOT! The sense I had was that the right nutrients and elements were going to be in place for rapid growth. That sounded positive, right? Well, I met up with my landlord when I arrived and he took me to the house where I had rented a room. From the moment the door opened, the "greenhouse" materialized before my eyes! Both spiritually and in the natural (the thermostat is locked at 79 literally!) the house is not a place of rest or peacefulness. One of my first responses was to cop attitudes; mix that with where my heart was at when I arrived in KC....having left everyone and everything behind, grief, complete exhaustion physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually and I was set for a crash and burn!
Thursday I spent the morning with a friend who I had completed my previous internship with. That afternoon, I simply kept driving around, again just exhausted. I suddenly found myself with the strongest urge just to drive right back out of KC. I did not want to finish unloading my car, did not want to get the PO Box I need or open a bank account here. I was completely undone! If I could have thought of somewhere I would have wanted to be....I would have just left. But then I was struck with I have no place to go! I have burned the bridges to Alabama....my old place no longer exists, nor my "stuff". That brought on a whole new depth of tears as I felt that strange emptiness. So about 4:30 that afternoon, I just went to the prayer room. If God had brought me here to be in that room, then ok, I would go and sit in it! Though I had no strength, no prayers and was completely broken....I sat. For over 5 hours. Through that time, my spirit started to breath somewhere along the line. I walked out peaceful.....not real happy but I no longer had the urge to bolt!
The next morning I woke up and felt directed to head to my mom's house in Arkansas for the weekend. IHOP had a special National Prayer Conference going on, which took things out of the norm here and I was going to need to go see her before the internship started anyway. This gave me a chance to sleep a few nights in AC, rest up, get my clothes washed and ironed and just re-group. I knew this transition would be tough but I had not anticipated the degree of the challenge nor the warfare! As I was preparing to leave, I stopped by the bookstore to pick up a book for my mom. On the display table near the front my eye caught a teaching CD that was actually recorded in 06. I grabbed it too as it was stirring in my spirit. As I drove and listened, God started revealing my heart to myself. I would not identify myself as an angry person. Anger is just not something I have identified about myself. But in this teaching it was stated that for some people anger manifests in the outburst; for others it manifests in depression! What?! I have never heard that one before! And immediately, the light was shining on places in my heart revealing anger. Anger towards people, myself and at God.....I mean, I had just walked through some of the toughest terrain in my life, given up everything and now that I am here.....I can't even have a place to "rest" for awhile?
What God has given me is truly a greenhouse that quickly pulled to the surface those things hidden in my heart...which is allowing me to deal with what I did not know was there. You see, anger has some friends like pride, ambition, jealousy, etc. So I am grateful for His wisdom and lovingkindness to me in the midst of all of this. Do be praying for me, as though this place I have rented has severed this purpose, I do not feel compelled that I must stay in it. I knew coming into it that it would be temporary, as did my landlord. I am in the process of searching a new place that would be more suitable and conducive.....perhaps a bit sooner than I would have but none the less!
I am now back in KC and plan to spend much of this week in the prayer room, just allowing the Holy Spirit to work on this heart of mine and get on board with what is on His heart! I am holding off on getting my PO Box until I get a different address. Where I am located right now requires me to use a post office that is less than optimal and my physical location could change which post office I will be using. I will be sure to let you all know my new info as it comes available. Would love to hear from you all! Blessings and grace to your day.
His,
Heather
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
08.19.10 5 Days and Counting!
"Wow" comes to mind when I look back over the past few weeks. Two yard sales in July and August....in the South....need I say more? Much thanks to Wally and Gina Whitmore who let me fill their front yard with most of my earthly belongings. And also to Bill Everett and Greg Godfrey, without whom I would never had been able to get the furniture out the apartment! God blessed both days of sales and I am grateful.
The women of the Rock Scottsboro had a dinner for me during our regular Mentoring Moments monthly meeting. There was a prayer time for me, which totally messed me up.....that was a multiple Kleenex time....and they had a "Blessing Jar" in which they left notes and money to help me take this next step forward. The notes caused another major need of Kleenex! It was all a huge blessing. The night was capped off when Pastor Jennifer taught on Hannah. She had no idea but Hannah had been a word that Pastor Greg had taught on a number of years earlier regarding intercession. It was a very direct word that spoke into and over my life. To have Hannah brought up on this particular night in preparation for my move to the house of prayer was just a God thing. It stirred afresh those things He had planted in the prior years......yea, some foundation for what I am walking into. Much thanks to the ladies of the Rock! I love you guys and will so miss you all.
It has been pretty amazing watching God work out the details. And yet it has been a challenge to try to keep in that place of rest knowing He has me in His hand, just to be honest. As I have sold, given away or thrown away the "things" that make up my day to day life, as I say good-bye to the people in my life, and the unknown fate of my dogs as of yet, Mac and Sophie, the emotions have run high. It does not take much for the tears to be rolling! And yet I know once the "tasks" of moving are done, I am heading into a great adventure that will be putting me in the middle of His will, doing what I am anointed for. As I have heard it preached....there is no better place to be than that!
And so I attack the next 4 days to finish washing, packing, cleaning, delivering items to friends that don't belong to me, and finishing up making rounds to some folks I need to see before I head out on Monday. I look forward to arriving in KC to have time to process these changes! Thank you to all of you, again, for the encouragement you have given in words, prayer and financially. Can't help but think of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Great Adventure" at this point in time! "Saddle up your horses, we've got a trail to blaze. Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace. We'll follow our Leader into the glorious unknown, this is life like none other (whoa whoa) THIS IS THE GREAT ADVENTURE! To quote David Vest, "Giddy up!"
Love you all much.
The women of the Rock Scottsboro had a dinner for me during our regular Mentoring Moments monthly meeting. There was a prayer time for me, which totally messed me up.....that was a multiple Kleenex time....and they had a "Blessing Jar" in which they left notes and money to help me take this next step forward. The notes caused another major need of Kleenex! It was all a huge blessing. The night was capped off when Pastor Jennifer taught on Hannah. She had no idea but Hannah had been a word that Pastor Greg had taught on a number of years earlier regarding intercession. It was a very direct word that spoke into and over my life. To have Hannah brought up on this particular night in preparation for my move to the house of prayer was just a God thing. It stirred afresh those things He had planted in the prior years......yea, some foundation for what I am walking into. Much thanks to the ladies of the Rock! I love you guys and will so miss you all.
It has been pretty amazing watching God work out the details. And yet it has been a challenge to try to keep in that place of rest knowing He has me in His hand, just to be honest. As I have sold, given away or thrown away the "things" that make up my day to day life, as I say good-bye to the people in my life, and the unknown fate of my dogs as of yet, Mac and Sophie, the emotions have run high. It does not take much for the tears to be rolling! And yet I know once the "tasks" of moving are done, I am heading into a great adventure that will be putting me in the middle of His will, doing what I am anointed for. As I have heard it preached....there is no better place to be than that!
And so I attack the next 4 days to finish washing, packing, cleaning, delivering items to friends that don't belong to me, and finishing up making rounds to some folks I need to see before I head out on Monday. I look forward to arriving in KC to have time to process these changes! Thank you to all of you, again, for the encouragement you have given in words, prayer and financially. Can't help but think of Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Great Adventure" at this point in time! "Saddle up your horses, we've got a trail to blaze. Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace. We'll follow our Leader into the glorious unknown, this is life like none other (whoa whoa) THIS IS THE GREAT ADVENTURE! To quote David Vest, "Giddy up!"
Love you all much.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
August 23.....the day!
Hey ya'll!
Thought I would use the true southern terminology while I am still truly in the south! Well, it looks like August 23 will be the day I pull out of Alabama and head to Kansas City. It occurred to me that if I didn't just set a date that I would be here till Christmas! Can any body relate to procrastination? So looking at the calendar I made the decision based on how much time I thought I would need to get things together. What I thought was random had turned out to be so orchestrated! A few days later it occurred to me that I would be arriving in KC way before my internship starts and that thought excited me because that would give me a chunk of time to just sit before the Lord in the prayer room, dive into the Word and just fellowship with Him outside of the hectic schedule of IHOP itself. A day or two later that thought returned to me and it slowly dawned on me that I would be in a great position to add fasting to this time of sitting before the Lord.....and then I had this sense of "Uh-oh.....I have been set up!" The 23 will be a travel day. I pulled out a calendar and started counting! My first full day in KC until the first day of the internship is 40 days. There is such an anticipation as I am seeing such divine weavings! So do be praying for me as I do not have the details of what kind of fast yet but I do want to be faithful to it and all that He has for me during those 6 weeks.
This past weekend I witnessed God working out details that I have been unsuccessful at resolving for myself. IHOP will be having 700 students arrive on base for this Fall = no room in the inn! I have had several leads on places/rooms to rent with nothing being available. Saturday morning I came across a posting on FB from the previous manager of the internship I was in at IHOP in 08 and he had just got his new website up and wanted everyone to check it out....it connects those needing housing with those with space available near IHOP! Within an hour I had a room on Myrtle Ave, within walking distance of the prayer room. Praise God for provision!
I have also had my old Saturn that I needed to sell before I leave. It has been a thorn in my flesh, to say the least. Saturday I finally just made myself finish cleaning it up and arrangements finally came through to park it in a friends yard on a busy street in Scottsboro. I finally got it parked there about 4 o'clock Saturday afternoon. I was awakened by a phone call Sunday morning by a guy who wanted to check it out. It was sold before church that morning! That required a big "Praise God"!!! It was interesting prophetically speaking. That morning Chris Mitchell from the Florence area was speaking at church. Before he started preaching he had tossed a bunch of white paper on the floor in front of the alter. As he was finishing the sermon he picked one up and though it was totally perfect for what he preached, as he explained what was on them, I just wanted to go grab it out of his hands because it was for me! It had simply two things on it: the date which was 08.08.10 and "My last day". In the prophetic world you always hear that the number 8 stands for new beginnings and 10 is for divine order. So Chris was sharing that it was a day of "double portion new beginnings" and God's order being set......I had just written that date myself and could see it in my mind's eye....as I was selling the Saturn. Again, in prophetic terms, I have always heard that your vehicle represents your ministry. So on the day of double portion of new beginnings and God setting things in His order, my old ministry/season were literally released and gone! Pretty sweet prophetic picture and confirmation that I am stepping in the correct direction!
Thank you for your prayers and the kind, encouraging words that many of you have expressed. I need you guys! This is a big, scary step I am making and I can sense the strength of your intercession over my life.....what a gift! This week I am facing another yard sale Saturday.....I need to get rid of all the "stuff". Two weeks is looking pretty short for finishing up closing my apartment, packing, storing, etc. I am also about to send out a "clarification" letter to those of you who received a hard copy of my letter explaining this move. I have had several people asking questions that were not clear in the first letter, so I hope to have that out in the next day or two. Blessings and grace to you all. May His favor be evident over you and your families. Much love in Him.....
Thought I would use the true southern terminology while I am still truly in the south! Well, it looks like August 23 will be the day I pull out of Alabama and head to Kansas City. It occurred to me that if I didn't just set a date that I would be here till Christmas! Can any body relate to procrastination? So looking at the calendar I made the decision based on how much time I thought I would need to get things together. What I thought was random had turned out to be so orchestrated! A few days later it occurred to me that I would be arriving in KC way before my internship starts and that thought excited me because that would give me a chunk of time to just sit before the Lord in the prayer room, dive into the Word and just fellowship with Him outside of the hectic schedule of IHOP itself. A day or two later that thought returned to me and it slowly dawned on me that I would be in a great position to add fasting to this time of sitting before the Lord.....and then I had this sense of "Uh-oh.....I have been set up!" The 23 will be a travel day. I pulled out a calendar and started counting! My first full day in KC until the first day of the internship is 40 days. There is such an anticipation as I am seeing such divine weavings! So do be praying for me as I do not have the details of what kind of fast yet but I do want to be faithful to it and all that He has for me during those 6 weeks.
This past weekend I witnessed God working out details that I have been unsuccessful at resolving for myself. IHOP will be having 700 students arrive on base for this Fall = no room in the inn! I have had several leads on places/rooms to rent with nothing being available. Saturday morning I came across a posting on FB from the previous manager of the internship I was in at IHOP in 08 and he had just got his new website up and wanted everyone to check it out....it connects those needing housing with those with space available near IHOP! Within an hour I had a room on Myrtle Ave, within walking distance of the prayer room. Praise God for provision!
I have also had my old Saturn that I needed to sell before I leave. It has been a thorn in my flesh, to say the least. Saturday I finally just made myself finish cleaning it up and arrangements finally came through to park it in a friends yard on a busy street in Scottsboro. I finally got it parked there about 4 o'clock Saturday afternoon. I was awakened by a phone call Sunday morning by a guy who wanted to check it out. It was sold before church that morning! That required a big "Praise God"!!! It was interesting prophetically speaking. That morning Chris Mitchell from the Florence area was speaking at church. Before he started preaching he had tossed a bunch of white paper on the floor in front of the alter. As he was finishing the sermon he picked one up and though it was totally perfect for what he preached, as he explained what was on them, I just wanted to go grab it out of his hands because it was for me! It had simply two things on it: the date which was 08.08.10 and "My last day". In the prophetic world you always hear that the number 8 stands for new beginnings and 10 is for divine order. So Chris was sharing that it was a day of "double portion new beginnings" and God's order being set......I had just written that date myself and could see it in my mind's eye....as I was selling the Saturn. Again, in prophetic terms, I have always heard that your vehicle represents your ministry. So on the day of double portion of new beginnings and God setting things in His order, my old ministry/season were literally released and gone! Pretty sweet prophetic picture and confirmation that I am stepping in the correct direction!
Thank you for your prayers and the kind, encouraging words that many of you have expressed. I need you guys! This is a big, scary step I am making and I can sense the strength of your intercession over my life.....what a gift! This week I am facing another yard sale Saturday.....I need to get rid of all the "stuff". Two weeks is looking pretty short for finishing up closing my apartment, packing, storing, etc. I am also about to send out a "clarification" letter to those of you who received a hard copy of my letter explaining this move. I have had several people asking questions that were not clear in the first letter, so I hope to have that out in the next day or two. Blessings and grace to you all. May His favor be evident over you and your families. Much love in Him.....
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